101 Relief Bikes: Day 6: Pulling the Plug

How does one define success? The Oxford English Dictionary defines "success" as:

1 1. the accomplishment of an aim or purpose:

2. [archaic ]- the good or bad outcome of an undertaking

Origin:

mid 16th century: from Latin successus, from the verb succedere 'come close after'

Nowadays most people associate the word with the primary definition listed above - and that's generally what I'd go with as well. By that definition this tour and project has been an abject failure. But was it really? I tend to think otherwise.

Goal #1 - raise enough money to provide 100 bikes via WBR to African children.

Well I fell short on that one. By a pretty significant margin. But, we did manage to raise enough money to provide 30 bikes - so that's definitely worth something. That's 30 kids who will get the opportunity to stay in school and have a real chance at success in the future. And it doesn't stop there. Once they graduate the bikes will be re-assigned to more kids, so these 30 bikes could end up positively impacting hundreds of kids' lives. I have to say that I'm pretty pleased with that. I originally came up with the 100 number by trying to guess how much load I could haul without killing myself (more on that later) and then applying a nonsense factorial to it because there really wasn't any science behind it anyway. Then I rounded it up and decided that "100 sounded like a great number". I bounced my numbers off Jordan, who responded with enthusiasm "Dude, you can totally do that!" and I was good to go.

Goal #2: Ride a ~2000km loop from Vancouver through Penticton, Golden, Jasper, Lillooet, and back to Vancouver carrying 3lbs of weight for each bicycle donated. I was carrying about 85 lbs in addition to my "minimal requirements" - not 100% ballast, but I did bring a lot of junk that I didn't really need to because I had weight to make up anyway. The rest of it was water because I figured if I were to run out of fluids at any point I'd be pretty pissed off to be stuck with a lot of sand. :p I made it as far as Revelstoke before making the decision to pull the plug, and this was not a decision that came lightly. I thought long and hard about it for 3 days before I quit. 3 days of just slogging along with no power, feeling really crappy, and in a fair amount of pain. 3 days of pushing with no strong desire to fight through, but not yet willing to not be making forward progress. 3 back-to-back days of questioning why I was riding when I wasn't enjoying being on the road - at all. This isn't a job - I do this for fun. And yet, this is really NOT fun. I'd pushed through something similar last year; but last year I had the luxury of a much larger timeframe so I could afford rest days and short days when necessary. This year I had a tight deadline and was already behind schedule, riding slower than ever before, just when the terrain was about to get difficult. I wasn't going to make up time, and I just wasn't going to make it - period. I'll also be perfectly honest and say that last year I wanted it more. A lot more. I'd always wanted to do a cross-country trip. Every mile - even the shitty ones. A "short" loop around BC is quite different and I knew that the great majority of the people who donated to WBR wouldn't be offended or want their money back if I didn't make it. (If anyone seriously does, email me) My desire to fight through this thing and finish the job I started just wasn't there. I didn't want it bad enough, and that was the biggest difference. Yes, my body hurt - but the mind is where this battle was lost.

So I sat in Revelstoke (nice town, btw), having thought through my options and called Phil & Andy just in case for a "sanity check / sounding board" - even though I'd essentially already quit mentally. I just needed confirmation. I'm done. It's over. I rode to the Greyhound station, bought a ticket, and went home.

Going back to the opening question, I'll take "success" by the 2nd definition and call it "moderate". A lot of good was still accomplished (30 bikes to Africa!) and I learned that adding ballast isn't quite as easy as I would have thought (smarter folk would have just known this). My 2nd day's ride from Hope to Princeton proved that last year was an anomaly - and that while that route/timing is indeed hard, it can be done. I got to see some friends that I've not seen in several years, and did enjoy some of my time on the road. Maybe next year I'll drive out to the 'stoke with a road bike and spend a few days doing Rogers Pass and the Icefields Highway the FUN way. :p I'll tour again, I'm sure of it. I'll just probably lean toward "fast & light" next time. :p

Scenery: